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Tagra Nar
02 July 2011 @ 07:40 pm
The Desert Crescent is a region along the equator of Meridia, on the continent of Alayr. As its name implies, it is crescent shaped, formed by a string of mountains along its west-to-south border, and a large gulf. Port towns dot the Desert Crescent's shores, many of which are situated on the mouth of a river. While a great deal of the Crescent Desert is sand and rolling dunes, the numerous rivers create many fertile stretches of land. It is here that Kith society is based: up and down the rivers and along the coastline.

The oldest known recordings that can be dated stretch back some 7,000 years, to the dawn of the precursor of Kith society. Humans, facing some threat from the southern lands beyond the mountains, fled into the desert. Much of the fleeing population died in the exodus, but enough made it to the fertile areas of the Crescent to start new lives. These early settlers adapted to their new environment, discovering what plants naturally grew in the rich soils of the riverbanks, as well as which crops from their homeland could survive. It seems that whatever forced the humans to flee their homes never followed them beyond the mountains, or never survived the arid wastes.

Some 3,000 years ago, when this precursor society was entering its height of power, the royal court mages began a series of experiments. The pre-Kith were fascinated by the local cats that dwelt in the Crescent, especially their adept nature as hunters. The cats were often used as hunting animals, bringing down the more dangerous beasts of the region to protect what livestock the people had. The court mages were tasked with breeding a new kind of hunter, a combination of man and cat that would allow for fewer resources and manpower devoted to the hunt. Through various forms of magic now lost to the Kith and the world, the mages were successful. The finished product retained a very human appearance, with the ears, tail, and skin adaptations of the cats. The new hunters could survive longer out in the desert, and were hardier than the humans who accompanied the cats.

The change to pre-Kith society came some 250 years after the Kith's creation. The Sandrunners, as they were called, were elevated to a very special rank among pre-Kith society very quickly, and soon inter-breeding began. For reasons unknown, the product of Kith and human reproduction always resulted in Kith offspring. 500 years after the Kith's creation, they equaled the human population, and soon overtook them. Eventually, the Kith were all that remained.

This instance in their history had a profound effect upon Kith society. Some Kith worried that the dying out of the true humans meant a dying out of their own humanity, and this fear gained widespread hold. Kith and pre-Kith society had ties to the outside world due to their ports, and the various goods found only in the Desert Crescent. Interactions with non-Crescent humans were myriad, but the times when the Kith were treated as nothing more than animals by outsiders helped fuel the fear of being less than human. Kith go to extravagant lengths to prove their own free will, and "led by instinct" became a common insult for those who gave into more "animal" urges. Kith sexuality, for example, is primarily based around beauty and sensuality, with those giving in to a need purely for pleasure or some instinctual drive to reproduce being shunned from society at large. This fear of "animalness" extends into their offspring; rarely a Kith will be born that appears more cat than human. These offspring are ritualistically sacrificed, left to the desert and its predators lest the beast reproduce and overtake the Kith in the way the Kith overtook the humans. This is, understandably, something not often talked about, and the practice has only escaped the Desert Crescent in rumor form among the sailors who frequent the ports.
 
 
Tagra Nar
29 May 2010 @ 06:07 pm
I was discussing with someone the other day the rather unintentionally fitting analogy the Lion makes for me. Lazy. Lusty. Bit of a bastard. It actually works a lot better than I was expecting. While originally the Lion of Nar was a title meant to encourage myself to better heights, it's become something of a self-fulfilling title. Well, in a sense.

There is me, who shines in a few moments, showing exactly what the title was meant to exemplify. The times where action has gone before thinking, where nobility has gone before cowardice. But they are few. They are far between, it seems. In truth, I am more the Mouse than the Lion.

I shrink from conflict, am lazy, cut corners and am prone to inaction. I worry incessantly, I beat myself up, and am fall into pits of doom-and-gloom. I'm shy and awkward and lonely.

The problem is that, at moments, something else comes through. Among all those things, I am yet other things. I am patient, I am understanding, I am dedicated and a hard worker, and I am there for friends when they need me. Each one of these comes with a rider in my mind, "at times." And it's true. I'm as selfish as they come, and I'm just as likely to doubt and second-guess myself and my better qualities.

The crazier thing is in thinking of another self, another version of me. It's crazy because it's there. Every so often, a certain look in the mirror will catch my mind off-guard, because it seems so very not me. I look at the mirror, and most often I see a tired, out-of-shape man, hunched over a bit and looking dead to the world. And then, here and there, something else altogether. A glimmer, a gleam, a look that could probably set someone's heart aflame, because it is alive, it is certain of itself, and it is certain of what will happen.

And then the other day, working, my mental wanderings going far and wide, it was there. Me-but-not-me, hand outstretched, towards me, to lift me up. Not a vision, more a musing, but one of significance. The me-but-not-me was also more than me. Take a sort of sci-fi time-travel plot, where one character meets his or her future self, and that future self has grown in ways they never could have imagined. In every way, their person outdone. Argue with them, the future-self will win. Fight with them, the future-self will beat you. They will outperform and outmaneuver you in every way, shape, and form. And that is what it was. An imagined presence of mind that would direct and herd me, no matter how I might try to escape, towards becoming the Lion.

It was, in a sense, that better part of myself come forward to smack me upside the head. Perhaps it didn't hit me hard enough. Even now, I begin to doubt (because I am slowly dipping into one of those doom-and-gloom pits) that I could ever become the man I can be. While my outlook on things, my mental state of mind, all of that has grown and become more positive as a whole, old habits die hard. I compare myself to others, when I know I should not, because I am not them. I restrict myself to "sensible" goals, not any frippery about changing the world. I modest myself (can that be a verb?) into thinking my abilities and talents are not as good as they are, not as profound as they might seem to others, for fear that I am overinflating my self-worth and puffing myself up and appearing to be an arrogant ass. Chip myself down, down, to the point where I think myself just another man, no more important or special than any other.

Which is complete bullocks. I am just another man, toiling away at a dead-end job, doing nothing because I fear failure. That, that one fear, that single, rather rational, but overblown fear, is the turning point. I debate and deprecate myself even when trying to win someone over, because I fear failure so much that I create it. I am awkward, shy and quiet because I fear what I say and do will be judged and mocked, failure in other clothes.

This is the problem. This is the challenge, which unlocks the future or slams it shut. It is the hump that I must get over before my life can become what I both wish it to be and want it to be. The hillock, that fear, that stumbling block is what stands between the Mouse and the Lion.
 
 
Tagra Nar
09 July 2008 @ 12:32 pm
"Each person who ever was or is or will be has a song. It isn't a song that anybody else wrote. It has its own melody, it has its own words. Very few people get to sing their song. Most of us fear that we cannot do it justice with our voices, or that our words are too foolish or too honest, or too odd. So people live their song instead. " - Neil Gaiman

For some reason, Icy, I thought you'd like this.
 
 
Tagra Nar
27 June 2008 @ 11:15 am
I don't remember a great deal. There was one dream with a cat, who wasn't quite gray but wasn't quite black and was somewhere in-between. The other was in an apartment that was on fire, and I was helping my nephews grab a few things before we ran out of the place, and one room looked like my sister's at our house back on Ash. We ran up some stairs to a rooftop with a giant billboard thing, and there were ninjas. Somehow we escaped and got to a safe place, and my main worry was that we left my younger nephew's DS back in the burning apartment. I can figure out where some of it came from (burning house and the ninja dudes were because of Batman Begins) but the cat is just out of nowhere.

Well... maybe not.

Been getting the urge to just walk outside and just go where ever my feet take me. Leave little offerings here and there, like at trees and spots in nature where I feel pulled to, and just keep walking, surviving off of what I can find. I must be going mad.
 
 
Tagra Nar
25 June 2008 @ 09:42 pm
Has arrived. Been playing WoW without any hitches so far, downloaded all the programs I need, and have been zipping around messing with things. I'm somewhat at a loss for what to do now that I have a computer that can handle just about anything. xD

Um... also looking for a good wallpaper. I dunno what else to say. xD
 
 
 
Tagra Nar
25 June 2008 @ 04:50 pm
I am a Togetic!

Aww... same one as ichigo.
 
 
Tagra Nar
14 June 2008 @ 05:55 pm
*wiggles* OMG, new computer ordered! I can't wait until it gets here! I hope it works all proper like. ^-^
 
 
Tagra Nar
09 June 2008 @ 09:38 pm
SoR ClassesCollapse )

Just some basic write-ups I did, to get the gears grinding again.
 
 
Tagra Nar
08 June 2008 @ 07:51 am
It was longer than what I can remember. A great deal of it had an Oblivion feel to it.

It started in a prison, much like what you start out in playing Oblivion. It was made of these dark grey stones. Outside of my cell was a large open area, lit by torches. A guard came to my cell, and opened it for some reason. I rushed him, either knocking him out or killing him (I think more the former), and stole the key from him. I began heading across the room to the stairs on the opposite end, but heard a commotion from that direction. The guards were coming or something.

So I ran back the way I came, and slipped down some hole or passageway to another room. The room was tilted, and partially flooded. I headed towards the end with all the water, and began to swim through some tunnels, eventually coming out in a safe area.

The chronological line of events gets fuzzy here. Either I was first talking with a woman (apparently my partner) about how the place would make an amazing base, and how I had escaped, or I was talking to Biff (or whatever his name is) from Back to the Future about draining all the water out of the basement of my house. While talking to my partner, we were in a partially flooded room. While talking to Biff, we were outside and the house looked much like the houses in Cheydinhal. And I think we were floating. Like we were mages or something.
 
 
Tagra Nar
02 June 2008 @ 11:47 am
So, y'all may remember that a few months ago the backlight on my lappytop went out. After a bit of struggling, it worked out. The old HP monitor worked fine hooked up to the laptop and I had the desktop on the HP monitor instead of it just being extra desktop space to work in. All was well until yesterday. For whatever reason (maybe something to do with having to flip off and on the breakers?), it reverted back to the extended desktop mode. All I had on the monitor I could see things on was my background. Commence more fiddling. In the end, I was able to turn off the laptop monitor (except I can still see stuff being displayed on it) and the computer recognized the HP monitor as the default monitor. The problem is, it's really kinda slow. When I scroll up or down on a webpage, the CPU usage spikes and it's slow and choppy and kinda has this effect like if it were a paper flipbook. You know, like how you can flip through pieces of paper quickly and it animates? It kinda looks like that. Like, moving down the page is flipping down a new sheet of paper with new content on it. Scrolling inside of boxes inside of the webpage doesn't do this. Moving a folder window around on the desktop does. I don't get it. It was working fine before yesterday, with the setup being pretty much the same.

My mom is getting money from my grandmother and my aunt. When she does, we're getting a new computer. I need to get settled on a computer. I asked her earlier, and it is set in stone, barring any really weird situations. *knocks on wood* I think she realizes how bad a state this computer is in now. So, hopefully soon, new compy. Either laptop or desktop, haven't decided. And if the laptop goes before we get a new one, I'll just hook up the old HP desktop. It (surprisingly) still works, just has a few issues. Like not being able to load Trillian.

I cannot wait for new compy. T___T
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed